We’re less than week from heading out on our first month long adventure as retirees. For decades our family vacations have all included many pictures of the family in front of world famous places like the Forbidden City, Eiffel Tower and the Great Wall of China, as Ben yaks on the phone trying to act like he’s on vacation. Not this time. The little birds named Hannah and Chris have flown the nest and it’s a no work, me and Ben adventure. We couldn’t be more excited. The tater tots, chicken nuggets and Coca Colas are packed in the Yeti and we’re ready to roll!
Ben spent the better part of the first month of his retirement obsessing over and planning this Wild West adventure. Where to go, what to do and where to stay in our newly acquired Airstream. I’ve spent months making sure the bed is comfy, not squeaky and we have all the comforts of home like little tiny grills, miniature queen sheets and comforters for our mini queen bed (which is an experiment in itself), unbreakable drink glasses, shrunken pots, pans and cookware that fit our shrunken stove and microwave, as well as pretty smelling items to keep our environment “fresh.” And certainly we made room for Ben’s newest toy, a Jura coffee/espresso/cappuccino machine. It’s not camping without that gadget, for sure, and what better use for 100% of our counter space. Sigh
As I’ve been packing and planning for this trip, I recall how I’ve always dreamed of owning a tiny home with less maintenance and upkeep. As I’ve bumped my head 4 times organizing and putting away dishes or trying to test the shower, I’m not quite sure I meant this tiny. As I have severe claustrophobia, going to the bathroom with the door closed is obviously not going to happen, so we’ll both be closely monitoring each other’s bowel health on this trip (welcome to retirement).
With all that being said, I know one thing for certain and that it’s a tiny tube sized space and not many ways to escape gassy situations that will for sure happen over a month long journey. Just for the record, I’ve trapped myself in my own gassy death twice now, which resulted in a few more bangs to my head in the process, so beans are definitely not on the food list and more air cleaning gadgets were needed. Bottom line, no matter what happens, Ben and I have always considered ourselves to be non-wussies, so you’ll still hear us laughing from Utah. Guaranteed!
So with all the planning and prepping behind us, just days to our departure, this would naturally be the perfect time for poop to hit the fan right? Yes
We now have a few minor hiccups in our plan. Ok one minor hiccup and one potentially major belch. We suddenly have a dog with full on hives, scratching all his fur off and making horrible licking sounds 24/7, which won’t be pleasant in a tiny tube. Hopefully the vet will help with that particular hiccup at 4 pm today. Oh and more importantly, a hurricane is threatening us once again. As if hurricane Ian last September wasn’t bad enough for SW Florida, Idalia is starting out exactly the same way Ian looked. First it’s just a tropical storm with a little rain. Not but a few hours later, it’s a 33 county emergency and it’s going to be a hurricane, headed towards Tampa, the same as where Ian was predicted to hit. Now in the last few hours it’s going to be a Cat 3, all the gas, alcohol, bread, milk and eggs are gone. It’s also not helping the situation when gas tankers of diesel fuel accidentally filled unleaded tanks at several gas stations around Florida. Sigh. If it follows last years plan, next it’ll be a Cat 4 and headed straight for us. So much for our plans to get the heck out of here ahead of the typical major hurricane month in SW Florida. Ugh. Another sigh. Deep breath.
So stayed tuned. We’re determined to take this trip that Ben planned out so well. First stop is Chattahoochee, FL on Saturday night. We hope!
TaterTotTales 