We worked really hard to plan for every possible uncomfortable situation that could arise with another bike ride. We definitely wanted this Zion bike experience to be more pleasant, compared to our chilly, posterior-pounding Glacier bike ride.
First of all, we don’t have to worry too much about snow on the road or freezing to death on this ride because it’s hot as heck here in Zion, so no need to pack extra layers or gloves. Secondly, no need to carry bear spray on our hip here, as we’re told that Zion isn’t really home to too many bears. Thirdly, my privates are mostly healed up and the butt cheek bruises are mostly faded from our Glacier bike ride. BUT JUST IN CASE, I made a very recent padded undergarment purchase, aka an “insurance policy,” so there shouldn’t be any pain today and I’m told my butt should ALSO look more shapely. 😉
With my butt padded, our packs loaded with water, protein bars, important first aid stuff (that we’ve luckily not needed, thus far) and “pottying in the wild” supplies on our backs, as well as hiking poles wedged into Ben’s pack, we set off for the bike rental joint at the early hour of 8 am. I am NOT bright eyed nor bushy tailed at this time of the morning. We’re breaking my 9 am rule, simply to beat the heat.
When we arrived at the bike rental place, the first thing we noticed was that the seats were made for actual butts, instead of hyper tough and athletic steel butts. We might be in for less butt-punching today with the granny seats. 🙌 Aren’t they big and beautiful?
We got the 30 second training on the use of the bikes from the rental dude, made a last minute air-conditioned bathroom stop, and we headed out on the little highway that leads from the base of the canyon all the way to the top, where the Narrows hike is located. Again, now we only had to contend with the busses on this scenic drive, which was perfect! Finally, we could look out the left side of our bikes to see the old rock slide area instead of seeing an armpit or an ass on the bus! Everything outside smelled a lot better than that bus too!
What a difference it was to be on bikes vs in the sardine can bus. It was night and day! We engaged the little electric pedal assist motor and just cruised silently and effortlessly up the road.
The views were just amazing! We biked all the way up to the top of the mountain, then turned around and glided back down for a while. When we wanted to stop for a pic, we stopped for a pic. For example, not far down the road from the top, was a sign for the Great White Throne! Now, by now, you should be well aware that any roadside throne must be investigated to prevent future incidents. We looked around for a while, but figured this must be metaphorical. No secret pooping places out here, sadly.
We got back on the bikes and headed on down to stop 6 to use the prequalified potty’s there, then down to stop 5 to start our hike. When we were here 18 months ago, the bridge was still shut down, so at that point, we accidentally made a 3 mile hike in to an 8 mile hike, which included 4 miles of horse poop path.
This time, the bridge was repaired and open, and we were able to get in a nice hike, with no surprises of either kind, other than finding places for Ben to pee. Geez louise, if I’m the number two machine, Ben pees enough for both of us. I swear, it’s every 15 minutes! Thankfully, men don’t have to go through nearly as much rigmarole to take a whizz as women do. Just a glance up and down the trail, find something interesting to aim at, and let her rip, tater chip. By the way, I argued with the iPad for several minutes over the spelling of rigmarole. It is clearly missing another “a” somewhere, but I am not going to argue any more. (Rigamarole)
Made it back to the Emerald Pools, not sure if it was the upper, the middle, or the lower pool, but it was definitely greenish and pool-ish, so we went with it.
We finished our hike, and headed back on down the road on the bikes. The bike ride alone was totally worth doing, and much like the drive up the Zion Carmel Highway, if you only have time for a few days in Zion, just rent the bikes and cruise the road. Amazing experience.
We wrapped up the bike ride with no sore butts to report, and headed back to the airstream to cool down.
Tomorrow, we’re taking a road trip to Bryce Canyon National Park. It’s a two hour drive through stunning scenery, and while we made the same trip in 2023, my stupid pancreatitis attack kept us from enjoying it. Back then, we were only able to drive into the visitor center, see that there was no parking for a truck and a camper, we let Pepper out to take a number two (passive aggressive, I know, but she did have to go, so….) and then we left.
This time, we’re just making a day trip with the truck, so parking should be easier. Also, there doesn’t seem to be any pancreatitis issues this time 🙏🏻, so we wanted to give Bryce National Park another shot.
And if we don’t like it, perhaps one of us can leave a number two there. You never know…
TaterTotTales 